T.Huge Esq.
Born in the desert to a nomadic tribe of berber bedouin on
Sept. 3 2005. Since then he has developed the art of dual-wield
light saber battle to unparalleled heights. Mr. Huge was last seen
wandering the fringes of Black Rock City in search of lost pharmaceuticals.
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The Guv'nor.
Hatched from a deviled egg on a paisley tablecloth in a
victorian chicken hut, The Guv'nor rose from humble beginnings to
eventually graduate magnum cum opus from the Derelict School Of
Misbegotten Poultry Engineering. Today he galavants across galactic
planes commanding a marauding horde of ruffled miscreants,dubiously
searching for the next lascivious libation.
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Lady Dizzaster.
Surpassing even her husband as a force of chaos
and a vortex of desctructive energy, the
consequences of the last fire dance of the Lady Dizzaster
are still reverberate down the ages.
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Dr. Dizzaster Ph.D.
Once a prominent London phrenologist, his credentials were
revoked by the board amidst accusations of necrophilia and
organ harvesting. Before joining the crew he lived in squalor
on income from donating his copious sperm.
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Eric.
The Protector of the Dodo, utilizing props when necessary,
patiently awaiting it's return when it disappears and not
only navigating dust storms and unruly passengers but also
painstakingly keeping track of his chemically enhanced friends.
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D.J. Bard.
"The Thorned Rose of Somerset". Since escaping bonded
servitude to a one-eyed carnival magician she has
specialized in bank jobs. Although she has never killed,
her ability to reload and hand over pistols extremely
quickly while under fire makes her a valued drinking companion.
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Wendy.
Outcast and shunned by her Mennonite sect after the pastor's
jealous wife claimed that she was a changeling and her birthmark
a demonic sigil. Learning the truth of these accusations
during a seance, she embraced her nature and moved to
nantucket, harpooning whales.
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Briana.
The scion of an ancient gypsy clan, she was introduced to
polite society after her triumphant performance as Lady
MacBeth at the Globe. Though few noticed the concurrent theft
of Lady Woadmire's tiara, John Singer Sargeant's portrait of
her made a sensation at the Paris Salon.
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Jared.
The Dodo's carpenter and erstwhile musketeer,
his timely repairs and inestimable marksmanship
have saved the magnificent bird numerous times.
His greatest exploit came when he climbed the
mizzenmast whilst under fire in a force twelve
gale to free fouled lines and help the Dodo to
victory over the Brass Tax Gerbiling Society.
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D'Nofrio.
Appearing to be merely an overdressed
fop, he is actually a highly trained member of
the clandestine services. Though he denies it,
the crew suspect that he has been planted on the
Dodo to keep tabs on her for a certain eastern
European arch-Duchy.
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Coco
The flog-misstress of the Dodo. Although her
peerless skill with hand, paddle and crop makes
her highly sought after for the best society parties;
she chooses to sail with the Dodo for personal
and sentimental reasons, where she is
an esteemed member of the crew.
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Hoops
His penchant for mixing Rum and firearms have recently consigned
him to the kitchen as a result of the ill-fated wake occasioned
by his beloved parrot's death from cirrhosis of the liver.
"Dinnae shoot tha man unless yar ready t' take 'is job..."
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Jessica.
She escaped Chicago minutes ahead
of a mob of outraged trophy wives
when her sordid past as a child snatcher and
procurer of beggar urchins and chimney sweeps
became know to the family where she
was governess. Her skills
in skulldudgery and deception have served her
in good stead on the Dodo.
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Erica.
Her genteel and charming manner masks a soul of
almost unfathomable darkness. Not a few of the
desicated corpses found in the Sangre de Cristo
wilderness bear the tell-tale marks of her
poisoned hat-pin.
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The Doctors Creasey-Lilienstein
Once famed Boston ressurectionists, their star
burned too bright and too fast. They signed
with the crew of the Dodo to escape debts brought
about by excessive self-medication with ether and laudanum.
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Espinosa.
Once a promising young member of the Whig party,
where he was touted as a sure bet for an
eventual ministership, his star dimmed when
after a hushed up incident involving a half
dozen corgis and two bottles of single malt scotch.
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Leyla.
Found as a baby wrapped in sail-canvas near the
Wentworth docks, she absconded from St. James'
orphanage at the age of seven. Her childhood was
spent passing as a powder-monkey and cabin boy.
Though the men of crew are loath to admit it,
she knows as much of the Ineptus as anyone.
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Nebula Montana.
The only surviving member of the once powerful
Abersham on Glenfargoth coven, she bides her time
as the Ineptus' figurehead, waiting
till the day her enemies' vigilance slips and she
can collect their hearts and livers for her stew.
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Zeus.
Lately in the import trade.
His numerous liaisons across all levels of society
provoked much sanctimony and not a little prurient envy.
Whether he crews with the Ineptus because
her voyages are ideal to feed his proclivities or
if he is simply fleeing London scandals he is a trusted
navigator.
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Emilie.
The bored daughter of a respectable banking family.
Once the muse for an artists' collective in Taos NM.
She has since found the inner peace that eluded her
there in contemplating the pleas of her numerous victims.
She is worshipped as an avatar of Kali by a sect of
Bangalore mystics.
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NRG and Sailorboy.
Their fame was assured when they partied an entire favella
to destruction during the infamous Rio carnival of 2003.
Showing no signs of slowing down, it is imperative they
be kept away from strong spirits while on-board.
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Rich DDT.
Thought to have been decanted sometime in the 26th century,
an accident in the Nexus left him unstuck in time. Although
his rank in hidden, evidence suggests that he is at least a
Viscount in the Peerage of Time.
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